The most resonant memory of an ex-boyfriend is him telling me when he wouldn’t want to do something: “That’ll never happen.” Years later, I can still hear his voice and see the defiance in his eyes.
It’s the same look I see in clients’ eyes, too. When we get close to hitting that deep reservoir of dreams, of what clients really want for themselves and are too afraid to pursue, they’ll flash that look, often with arms crossed over their chest. “That’ll never happen” doesn’t have to hit my ears for me to know what’s going on.
Unlike how I responded to my old boyfriend (yeah, a deeper relationship never happened, either), I take the dare. After all, when a client chooses me as their coach or therapist, it’s my job to go further.
Often some of that reservoir seeps out and, like Pandora’s Box, there’s no putting it back in. Acknowledging what they really want for themselves, who they want to become, the person they know they can become is too much to continue to deny.
“Oops,” they’ll apologize. “I never said that out loud before.” A breath to honor the sacred moment. And then we work on whatever it is they desire to pursue. Often, when they realize the safety of the space they’re in, their energy grows.
Tentatively they’ll step out and begin to make things happen. It’s sacred, an honor to witness and to share.
For the next week, listen to your inner voice. You may say something different from “it’ll never happen.” Consider if what you say is one of defiance or resistance. This awareness can begin to crack the reservoir. Every time you relinquish your defiance and resistance, you’re taking steps toward your deepest dreams.